Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Remember the dear ancients I talked about two blogs ago? Yeah, my darling mother decided to meet up with them again. Lewis got out of it by using the old "I-have-work" excuse, but the rest of us were dragged along to the ASDA* car park. Once we were safely in said car park, my darling grandmother opened the boot of her car and started unpacking sandwiches. And cheese twists. And home bakes. And flasks of tea and coffee. All the ancients ooh'ed and ahh'ed, but I rolled my eyes in disgust. My family are seriously the only people on the face of the earth that would actually show up in a supermarket car park and provide their own food.

As if this wasn't bad enough, they actually started eating the food. Yes, they were having their own picnic in the middle of ASDA car park. The amount of strange looks we received was unbelievable, but of course everyone, bar me, was completely oblivious to them.

*rolls eyes*

Actually, one not so horrible thing happened in the car park. A boy got out of a car and he looked so much like Pete Wentz it was scary.

Anyway, my mother's cousin, partner and children joined us too. All in all, around fifteen people were having a picnic in the car park.

Isn't it funny how when the family get together, they think it's alright to talk about you as if you're not there? For example, I heard my dear old granddad (the same one who told my sister she had put on "a few ounces") discussing my job with my mum's cousin's boyfriend. Then my mum jumps in with this story about this boy she thinks I have a huge crush on. I seriously don't.

But, because they are my "family" and they are my "elders", I couldn't tell them to shove it, but I just had to settle for scowling at them. If my future freedom hadn't depended on me keeping a "civil tongue", believe me, I wouldn't have. In fact, I only got one dirty look from my mother, simply because I realised I had broken a bit of wire in my braces and it had stabbed my gum, so I said, "Oh, bloody hell." Sheesh, if looks could kill!

Anyway, I did get some amusement, after the disastrous picnic in the car park. We were taking David to a park, as, being a five-year-old boy, he doesn't exactly have a long attention span. Of course, my mother dragged us to these gardens first, so I just turned my music up really loud and started singing Skater Boy at the top of my lungs. Oh, the looks I got *grins*

Then, when we were leaving the gardens and finally going to the park, there was a couple lugging a large pram up the stairs to get out. I spied a ramp just along from the steps and grinned evilly. I then proceeded to skipping up the ramp where I met the couple and their pram at the top where the steps and the ramp met. I looked pointedly at the pram, then at the steps and then at the ramp from where I had just come. I smiled widely and said, "Lovely day, isn't it?"

Maybe they should be more observant next time, to stop idiotic, teenage wise-cracks like myself from having a good laugh at their expense.

Then again, karma bad luck struck again in the form of David. He started annoying this boy about ten times his size, so I had to intervene, where David then proceeded to kick me in the shins and run off. I spied the couple I had seen previously, and they had huge grins on their faces. Yes, that's right, you laugh at me. I'll have the last laugh, though. I always do *mwahahaha*

The X Factor started today. I love The X Factor. A girl in my music class got an audition, but she couldn't go, so she never. She's quite good at singing, actually. It's a shame. Anyway, if anybody else watched it, did you think the first two were so hilarious you almost felt embarrassed for them? Almost, but you didn't, because you were too busy laughing xD

I also ate one and a half tubs of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice-Cream, and now I feel slightly ill. I wanted to have the sorbet, but SOMEBODY ate it all last night *glares at Lewis*

But anyway, my mother asked if it would be at all possible for me to shut up while she read her book. I smiled sweetly and said of course it wasn't, but then she bribed me with a fiver, so I shut up and amused myself by drawing a smiley face on my ice-cream. You know when you take the lid off and it's all smooth? Yeah... *reminisces*

I just finished watching Atonement on Sky Movies Premiere +1 (I had to use +1 because X Factor never finished until 8.30pm and Atonement was on at 8pm on the non+1 channel - which would be Sky Movies Premiere...). It was so sad. I cried. My mum never, though. Heartless woman *tuts*

Well, as it is 11.20pm and I'm quite tired, I think I'm gonna go to bed now.

Night night, children (:

*does anybody know what ASDA actually stands for? Or is it all just written in capitals to annoy people like me?

Some people might call it karma; I just call it bad luck. My bad luck to be more precise. After such a fun-filled afternoon, I go to my bedroom to read a book (it's actually quite a funny book; it's called "It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers". It's the second in a series by Louise Rennison (sp?). The first is "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging" (yeah, like the film) sorry, back on topic).

So yeah, I'm lying on my back on my bed, reading my book. I was holding it up in the air, as you do, when, of course, it fell out of my hands and the spine hit me on my left eyebrow. Yeah. So I squealed in pain and sat up, rubbing my eyebrow. Cursing slightly, I went to inspect it in the bathroom (not that my eyebrow was in the bathroom, it's just that the lighting &the mirrors in the bathroom are better than those in my room, anyways...) and I saw a bruise starting to form on it. Seriously.

And, of course, I simply have to get a bruise on my eyebrow when I'm heading out in about half an hour.

And not only did I receive this bruise, but I also lost my place in my book. Now I'm really annoyed

Oh well, every cloud has a silver lining, right? So maybe, because I have a lovely bruise on my eyebrow I will avoid being struck by lightning later on or something...

Then again, with my luck, I may get both.

I think of myself as quite an easy-going person, but sometimes you just have to draw the line. I mean, when your dear old mother yells up the stairs at you to tidy your stuff away because we have family coming round, you roll your eyes and finish up what you were doing - in this case, uploading photos to bebo. Then, the afore-mentioned mother yells at you again to get a move on.

"How thick can you get?!" I think were her exact words.

Fabulous, so now she's in a bad mood. So, with a resigned sigh, you head downstairs to tidy your room. Now, in your eyes, the mess isn't that bad. You have your suitcase open in the middle of your, albeit very small, bedroom and it is half-full of clothes from your holiday that you have yet to fully unpack from. So you ask your mother what exactly she wanted tidied up and she goes ballistic. Jeez, it was only a question!! By the end of her rant, you seem to have got the general idea that she wants your room spotless, why she wants this is beyond you. Honestly, when you can easily just shut the door over to stop anybody seeing the mess, having to tidy it all up is a tad extreme. So you very politely shut the door in her face and scoop up absolutely everything that she thinks is making a "mess". You dump it all in the suitcase that is conveniently lying in your room and shut it, with great difficulty. You then proceed to lug it up the stairs to the attic, where you dump it and run back downstairs.

"Oh, have you finally put away that empty suitcase then?" your mother asks.

"Umm...yep," you say, with a grin, hoping to wave off any further questions.

Your mother smiles, and then shuts your bedroom door. WHAT?! After making you clean your room, she then goes and SHUTS THE DOOR so nobody can see your hard work? Ohohoho, she's really annoyed you now. So you storm upstairs and go back online. 'Stupid woman,' you think.

A wee while later, after the family has arrived (the family consisting of your mother's parents and her auntie & uncle), you hear your mother hinting at you to come down stairs.

"So where is Caitlin, then?" you hear one of the ancients saying.

"Oh, I think she's upstairs," replies your mother, "Probably sulking, as per usual."

You hear a little giggle, so you yell, "I am NOT sulking!" Then, realising how bad that would have sounded, you quickly add, "I'm socialising." Referring of course to talking to your friends through MSN. You hear one of the ancients snicker and say, "In my day, socialising was when you went out to a park and actually talked to people, not this mindless "Facespacing", or whatever it's called."

You hear the dull sounds of ancients agreeing and then you zone out. Honestly, you have better things to do than listen to ancients recounting the tales of their youth. You have a quiet snigger to yourself at the word "Facespacing". Clearly, the ancient had picked up the words "Facebook" and "MySpace" and had succeeded in combining the two of them into this hideous concoction that is "Facespacing".

Your mother calls up the stairs and asks if you are alright as it sounds as if you are being strangled. You immediately stop sniggering and scowl and say that yes, you are perfectly fine, thank you very much. You hear some more dark mutterings but decide not to enquire; chances are you don't want to know what she is saying.

After another while, the unmistakable tones of your grandfather sound. He appears to be talking to you younger sister.

"You certainly seem to have put on a few ounces over the summer, Anne," he says, completely unaware at what he is doing, "You seem much rounder than you did before the holidays started..."

You burst out laughing, and hear your little sister storming out of the living room, but you continue in your hysterics. Eventually, you gain enough control to listen to what’s going on.

"I didn't say she was chubby!" you hear your grandfather protesting.

"You said she was round!" your mother hisses, "That's the last three years down the drain, that is! We have all been telling her that her body is just fine-" you snigger at this bit, as you clearly HAVEN'T been telling her this, "And you go and put your foot in it like that!"

You can practically hear the death glares being sent across the room. Being the delightful daughter that you are, you decide that this is the perfect moment to grace them with your presence. You go as quietly as humanely possible down the stairs and burst into the living room, all smiles.

"Wow, who died?" you ask, feeling the tension in the room. Then you life in spite of yourself, as the ancients are all well past their sell-by date. Well, okay, their all 60+. Hardly at the top of their game, so to speak.

"Caitlin, why don't you put the kettle on? I'm sure everyone is dying for a cuppa," your father says, eyeing your mother carefully.

"Actually, we better be going," says your grandmother, “It was lovely seeing you!"

And then, at a speed you never thought possible for the ancients, they all practically sprint out of the house and are in their car before you can say 'Zimmer frame'.

"Well, that wasn't nice manners," you say, smiling sweetly, "Now, about that cuppa..."

"Caitlin, leave, now." your mother says through clenched teeth.

You shrug your shoulders and go back upstairs. Once you’re safely there, your burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and it keeps on going until your ribs hurt.

Despite how much they annoy you, family's can certainly have their perks. Or at least, provide amusement for you.

Dear God, this afternoon was the funniest family gathering we've had in a while. Maybe we should have them more often?!

*grins evilly*

And if you think I was exaggerating as I wrote this, I assure you, my family rarely needs exaggerating. They do exactly what they say on the tin xD